Do you have a Hanukkah gift strategy that works for your family? Hanukkah gift giving can be complicated for many reasons. Some families have to balance Hanukkah gifts with Christmas gift giving. We only celebrate Hanukkah in my family so we don’t have the added stressor of the Hanukkah and Christmas debate. But I strongly want the joy and memories of Hanukkah not to come from or be about presents, but to focus on the light and love of the holiday itself and the joy of spending time with family.
We definitely gift our kids presents, but we try to do it in a very intentional way and choose gifts that are meaningful to their physical, emotional, and mental development and to our dynamic as a family. The strategy we developed allows our kids the fun of receiving presents during Hanukkah, but tries to make the types of gifts intentional and meaningful.
Each family will have their own strategy that works best for them, but years ago we developed one that works for our family and I’d love to share it with you here! It cut down on some of the chaos we had been feeling each night of Hanukkah and let us instead shift from a get-a-present mindset to being present mindset. Which is what Hanukkah is all about for me!
We Open All Presents The First Night of Hanukkah
We stopped opening one present each night during the eight nights of Hanukkah. It got complicated with extended family gifts and it meant that each night the kids wanted to rush through dinner in order to open presents. Nope, Hanukkah is NOT about the presents, it’s about the light and love and miracles and family time.
So we switched gears and open all presents the first night of Hanukkah. Each of the subsequent seven nights has a different family-focused activity so that the entire family is excited about spending time together. Often we may use some of our new gifts in these activities but the focus is family and that’s what makes it special.
Want to learn more about what our Hanukkah family-focused activities look like? Check out our post on these activities here!
Each Child Receives Gifts Based on Specific Categories
We also have specific gift categories so that each of the gifts we give our kids feels intentional. We get them one gift per category. These categories are important to our family and ones we feel are meaningful to the development of our children and our family dynamic.
Sometimes the gifts are shared gifts (all kids’ names on a tag) but each kid will get to open eight gifts from us parents. Are eight gifts a lot? I kinda think so but we try to choose gifts that will enhance our day-to-day family life. It’s really important to me not to give gifts that are “fluff” (i.e. some junky gift just to give eight gifts) but these gifts do not have to be big or expensive at all. We also don’t price compare across kids but again look at giving a meaningful gift to each child from each category that will bring them joy.
So what are these mysterious categories?
Here we go …
1. Tzedakah
The giving of tzedakah is an important value and action in our house all year long and we always give tzedakah during Hanukkah. At a time when we are very lucky to give and receive “just for fun” gifts we know it’s much more important to model to our kiddos the gift of giving to others.
It’s also very important to us that the kids are involved in the tzedakah giving so that they feel ownership in this choice and know that they are taking part in tikkun olam, repairing this world.
Before Hanukkah we talk to the kids about where they’d like to give tzedakah to. Since we do this every year, they expect and know how this category works. They may say a specific organization (one of our favorites is the California Raptor Center) but more often they share a type of cause they’d like to help, such as helping the homeless, helping wild cats, or helping the rainforest.
We then turn this desire into a research project and together learn about different agencies who are doing the hard work of making this world a better place by helping whichever cause they are interested in that year.
They make their choice and I then make the donation in their name. I also create a certificate stating a donation was made to the agency in their name. I also add a blurb about what the agency does to further in our discussion of tzedakah and tikkun olam. The kids get to open this gift during the first night of Hanukkah. And while it’s not a tangible gift or toy that they get to play with, they love this tradition and expect it as part of their Hanukkah experience. I hope we are instilling the value of giving tzedakah that they will continue to act upon even after they leave our house.
2. An Experience
Each child always gets a gift of an experience. This is another DIY certificate, but this time of mom and dad’s choice. And it’s a surprise. In the past some of the experiences we gifted were a zoo membership, a certificate for a day at the beach, and a frozen yogurt treat.
Last year we also gave each kid a one-on-one date of their choice with each parent. Special one-on-one time is super special and important and they loved it!
This gift could obviously not cost a thing, other than time! Think of something special your kiddo and you like to do together and they will love unwrapping it and then experiencing it!
3. Something to read
We are huge readers in our house and yes, we own a lot of books. But every Hanukkah each kiddo gets a book that we can read together. We love encouraging their imagination and reading ability.
The last couple years we’ve been on a Julia Donaldson kick. We find her books so funny and engaging. I plan to buy more of her books again this Hanukkah.
There are a ton of very knowledgeable book reviewers in the Instagram world and I encourage checking out their recommendations. Here are a few I trust to guide me in selecting appropriate, enriching, and diverse books for my bookshelf:
4. Something to create
Creating is something we do all the time in our house! In past years it’s been different art materials, crafts, and writing possibilities. It’s important to us that our kids have ample opportunities to use their imagination, as well as practice their fine motor skills.
This category could totally be fulfilled with something small and inexpensive, such as crayons, paper (special or not), or markers. My kids currently love watercolor painting so a set of watercolor paints would work too!
5. Something to encourage moving your body
Even before the pandemic forced us to spend way too much time indoors, gifting something that encourages body movement has always been important to us. We love modeling the importance of healthy living, as well as giving opportunities for needed sensory input.
In the past we’ve gotten an indoor kiddie trampoline and my husband made a pikler climbing triangle. Balls and outdoor lawn games (DIY ones!) have also been big hits.
This is another area where the gift doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Bean bags for tossing games, a hula hoop, a ball, jump rope or DIY equipment are all awesome options.
I found a used radio flyer pusher wagon for our baby that I’m gifting him this year. Way less than new price and of course just as good! So many options out there!
6. Something to play with
Yes, we still like the traditional toy too. So each child gets a toy, something they are currently into. Playing with toys helps excite children’s imaginations, creativity, as well as practices social interactions like sharing and communal play.
This year I’ve already found a used Hatchimal set for my daughter and a used Paw Patrol set for my preschooler. I feel like such a winner!
7. Something to build
So we really like legos. They are most often the gift in our building category. I really love that the three bigs now choose to play legos all together every day. They create the most amazing, unique habitats and scenarios. This of course is much more than just the benefits of fine motor skills and coordination; there is so much imagination, social bonding and exchange, and true creativity. I love it!!
Other materials can be great options for building–loose parts, real wood, even playdough! Again, we like to encourage creativity, imagination, motor skill development and cooperative play.
8. Family games
Thanks to Peaceable Kingdom, a few years ago we discovered the joy of family games, games we can all play together. Better yet, Peaceable Kingdom has a ton of cooperative games so that the object of the game isn’t to win as an individual, but to work together for a better outcome for the team. Yes please!
We have many Peaceable Kingdom games, as well as some other family board type games. For us, the goal is to find something we can all enjoy playing together.
Bonus category: Judaica
Each time we have a new baby we gift them a special Hanukkiah for their first Hanukkah. Our littlest will be eight months this Hanukkah and is getting his first Hanukkiah (and I absolutely love it!). Since we moved to a new house last year and the kids now all have their own bedrooms, we also decided that this Hanukkah we’d gift them each a special mezuzah for their bedroom doorpost.
Obviously the above gifts won’t be purchased every year. But if Judaica is important to you there are many ways to bring gifts of Judaica into your house: prints and pictures, pajamas, mugs, etc.
Hanukkah Gift By Category Guide
Make sure to check out my Hanukkah Gift By Category Guide for ideas in each of these categories. And of course, DIY and buying used are awesome ways to gift and practice tikkun olam ❤️
What is your Hanukkah Gift Strategy?
I’m so curious to know what gift giving for Hanukkah looks like for your family! Do you do one gift each night? One main gift each Hanukkah?
Share what your Hanukkah gift giving experience looks like for your family by commenting below or sending me an email!
If you’d like help organizing your gifts by these categories, check out the free gift planner here!
For Hanukkah 2020 resources, crafts and activities, check out our Hanukkah Round Up 2020 page!
Chag Sameach!!
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[…] Every Hanukkah we make sure to focus on tzedakah. Usually this involves each kiddo thinking about a cause special to them. We then choose a corresponding organization and make a donation in their name as one of their eight Hanukkah gifts. See more about our Hanukkah gift strategy here. […]
[…] and opening Hanukkah gifts. When my children were younger I wrote about our gift giving strategy in this post. It’s now changed as my children have gotten older. We still give eight gifts per child and […]