i don't care if you have fuckall going for you otherwise, please marry me

Because this is getting popular and some have voiced safety concerns in the notes (and because I’d hate for you to think me of me ~your future spouse~ as reckless), I hope you won’t mind me derailing this post to talk a bit about alligator behavior and what I’m doing here! The noise that I am emulating in the video is my attempt at the contact call of the juvenile American alligator. I am NOT trying to make a distress call, which is what a baby alligator would use to call mom for help, and is a different sound entirely. Instead, contact calls are typically used in communication between juvenile gator siblings that live together in groups called crèches. While a mother gator will certainly swim towards a hatchling distress call (up to a certain age) to protect her young, the other babies will typically swim away from the sound, meaning a correctly done contact call shouldn’t cause a hostile reaction in a nearby momma gator. That said, everyone with safety concerns is absolutely correct to consider the possible implications for doing contact calls in the wild, and much like performing bird calls in the wild there are ethical considerations that must be taken into account. I’d love to give my three personal rules for performing this call!

1. If your feet are on dirt, grass, or water, do not attempt a contact call. If you watch till the end of my video you’ll see a shadow that shows I am standing on a raised boardwalk with a rail, which is the optimal situation for safely observing gators. This way even if you somehow do make a sound that attracts an aggressive alligator, you are not at risk of a dangerous encounter.

2. If the alligator is less than 2 feet in length, do not attempt a contact call. While I did say “baby” in the original post, a better word for this animal would be juvenile, as their length and head shape indicates they’ve reached at least a year or two in age. You should absolutely never make any kind of noise to intentionally disturb hatchling gators that are small and highly vulnerable to predators! Once a gator has gotten to about 2 feet in length they’re usually around 2-3 years old and have typically left mom at this age.

3. If you are planning on interacting with the alligator in any way, do not attempt a contact call. It is imperative to both our safety and alligator wellbeing that we do not condition them to seek human behavior by feeding them. I once saw a tour guide call over gators using this method so that he could feed them cocktail shrimp for the delight of tourists. Shouldn’t have to say it but don’t do this! Don’t feed them, don’t touch them, and don’t get within 20 feet of them, for everyone’s safety. Wildlife is wild and should stay that way.

I probably should have spelled all that out in my original post so please forgive me the omission! Keep gatoring on everyone 🐊

(Interested readers may refer to my tags for additional information on the contact calls and alligator behavior described here!)

op this is me standing on a boardwalk watching you ethically and responsibly do contact calls to juvenile 2 foot long alligators